Have you ever wondered why you hang on to resentment or cannot let go of a person that you think you love even if they are not treating you well? Whether it is an ex-lover or a difficult or abusing person from the past, our inner mind reacts the same way. It is difficult to just let it go.
This occurs because you want the other person to be or act different. You want them to apologize, love you, treat you better, talk to you differently, or even worse, you want them to suffer.
Many times it is about being right and other times about being loved. The reason your feelings are so intense is not because of their behavior as much as the story you have created around it. You may be confusing their action or lack of action as a gauge of your own self-worth.
You need them to be different so you will be okay. The part of you that does not feel worthy is hooked into them and their actions.
So imagine that you are all light, a beautiful light beam. When you fall in romantic love, you hand a portion of your energy over to that other person and concerned about them loving you back. When they leave, it feels as though a part of you is missing and you are constantly striving to get your energy back. You aren't in love with the person but the idea of who you think they are to you.
So let's turn this around to someone you resent. What if that person was harmful to you and you felt they STOLE some of your energy. You are still concerned that they have a piece of your energy and you strive to get it back. You really don't hate them as much as you feel weak and want to
gain your power back.
This energy transferal often happens when someone is raped, beaten or harmed by a stranger or even a loved one. You are mad at them for taking your power but they cannot take what you do not give them. It is an illusion that they have taken anything from you. Sure emotional wounds are deeper than physical wounds, but after the event is over, it is YOUR CHOICE as to whether you want to continue to have them hold your energy.
You stay hooked until you realize how powerful you are and do not need a response from them in order to feel worthy of love. If they had raped you and apologized, groveled at your feet, do you think that would make you feel better? No, you would still want more if you are still hooked. You would want them to suffer the rest of their life and would always want proof of their suffering. That is a lot of work!
Do you really want to give that person more of your energy? Wouldn't it be nice to let God/Karma be in control of their debt and you become free of policing the universe?
What happened to you or why someone left may not have been your choice, but how you react and continue to view the past is completely in your control. By letting go, you allow those beautiful light beams that you gave away to return to you. You own your energy and the thoughts that occupy your mind.
You are not condoning the act as much as releasing the pain you no longer wish to carry around the person or event. You get to choose. You are powerful and you deserve to keep all of your energy so that you can direct it at higher purposes and creating a better world.
Author Resource:-
Debra Berndt is a Relationship Expert and Certified Hypnotic Love Coach, Host of The Love Coach Radio Show, and Author of the upcoming book, "Let Love In." Get free attract love mp3 download and her weekly dating advice newsletter from her website at AttractRealLove.com
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