A concept that guides my sessions is the essential self. I believe that each of us has a core way of being that finds its way into all of the things that we do. Overtime, many of us come to think of our preferences and opinions as the person that we truly are. Frequently, these preferences and opinions are much more about our persona, mask, ego than they are an expression of our essential self. However, frequently there are signs of our essential self within these more superficial trappings of our identity.
What is the essential self? The essential self is who you are at your core. I prefer to think of it in more abstract terms. I think of it as the core energy. Some people might think about it as a person's nature -- if a person where giving his or her ideal environment what would he or she be?
Somehow in all of our thinking, we come to believe that we should BE something. This something is inevitably something other than we know ourselves to be. In fact, after a while of doing this, we even forget who we truly are. We might get upset with ourselves or we might have a vague feeling that something is wrong.
Living from this place of should, can be
like expecting a grapevine to grow pears. We think that we should really be growing pears even if we are in fact a grapevine at heart. We wonder why the pears that we make are not quite right and never seem as good as they should be.
The fact of the matter is that we ARE something. And, when we reconnect with our essential self, we no longer expect ourselves to be what we are not. When we do this, it is possible to give ourselves our ideal environment and care so that we can really thrive.
The question at this point usually is a "well then how do I connect with my essential self?"
Living from your essential self is a life process and there are many different techniques for accessing the core of who you are. Here are a few questions that are helpful to start:
1.) When are you the happiest or when do you feel most alive? Describe how you feel?
2.) List words that really resonate with you?
3.) Think of the characteristics in others that your really admire?
The answers to these questions, when read aloud by you or another person, will likely bring about strong feelings. Pay attention to any strong feelings of resonance or excitement. These cues are the first steps in connecting to your essential self.
Author Resource:-
Kate Siner Francis Ph.D: My coaching and therapy practice, Larger Visions is the key to effectively creating change. It's time for you to do what you DREAM of doing with an ally who understands you and can offer you essential support and tools. To receive your free consultation visit: www.largervisions.com
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